Stories to Soothe the Soul

Kimberly

David and I have never been angry or bitter about having a daughter with Rett syndrome. In fact, after all the early "feelings" I had about Grace from the very beginning, her diagnosis was sort of confirmation that yes, she was special and destined to live a very different life. I have struggled, however, with the fact that Grace suffers so much. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and I hate that that has become such a cliché for fear that it's impact is often lost, but it is so true. I do believe that Grace is here for a great purpose and her work has had and will continue to produce many fruits. Many people will testify that from the moment
Grace was born, she had a look in her eyes- a "wisdom" many would say. She knew and continues to know so much more than we know. She knows what matters in life and where we are all ultimately headed. Thank God I have Grace to keep me focused on what matters in life and in love. After absorbing all my thoughts, I began to admire Grace and recognize her courage and fortitude to keep going. She is not a genetic mistake. She is a beautiful creature preserved from the dirty waters of this world that
we all drink from. Grace is knowledgeable in goodness and love and she is constantly in the company of angels as I'm sure God promised her she would be. I began to feel so inadequate compared to her and her strength. As I further wondered why Grace suffers, the answer slowly became clear as I realized how her suffering and pain brings so many people to God on her behalf to ask for peace and healing for Grace. Grace's pain calls us to present ourselves before God and look deeper into our hearts and our own lives and also to look more closely at our own suffering.

Of her many gifts, one is certainly perspective of what matters in life and what we need to be thankful for each day. Grace is stronger than I ever realized. She has to be to live her life. I will not allow myself to grow weary thanks to Grace and I will persevere with her as my guide.

On the days when I am tired and discouraged and uncertain about having enough strength to take the next step, I will turn around and look how far I've come with Grace.

I have never felt prouder to be Grace's mother. Having five children, we mothers aren't supposed to have favorites, but my children all recognize as I do, how deeply carved into my soul Grace really is.

She is in every fiber of my being and she fills me with incredible love and strength every day. That is no mistake.

Tara Reddington (Grace, 3)